Showing, Not telling

The hero was strong and handsome. He was admired by the townspeople. He was brave and wished to help those in need.
Galloping through the streets, he was rushing towards a scene caused down the bottom of the village. Hoping down from his brilliant steed with a graceful thud, the smell of anxious sweat dripping from his masculine face. Shocked, the people lining the street looked up at the Philip (hero) in admiration. "Don't fret, charming peasants, I am here to help."


The wizard was ugly and evil. The people of the town were terrified of him. He enjoyed threatening them, especially the children. He was cruel and greedy.
He peered through his old wooden window, overshadowing the city of ruins a group of ratty, tattered children were galloping around the courtyard. Laughing among themselves. "humph, silly humans... Lemony Limey Louth, quiet that big mouth, lemony limey Louth snickitee, go away for eternity". Suddenly a burst of blue, purple and white sparkles of dust appear from his wooden wand, and zapped the children away to a different place inside of his mystic wand.


The peasants were kind and helpful. They were hard working and honest people. They were scared to drawing the attention of the wizard.
"Excuse me, but do you know where the wizard of Farmington is?" the majestic hero questioned. "No, now go away, your scaring all of my customers." the angry merchant yelled. With a short thud of his saddle, he climbs aboard his horse and trails off the find answers. A click and a clack of the hooves trotted across the pebble pavement, past a groups of peasants dressed in brown and old tattered clothes. "Um, Excuse me, but did you ask that merchant where the wizard of Farrington is?" a young girl peasant asked with sweet pigtails. "... Indeed I did young girl... What is your request?". "I am able to show you to him, I know where he is." desperately trying everything to help this hero. "Oh that is not needed young girl, just tell me the directions and I am on my way." the hero said with pride. "Oh no, it is no bother for me, you saved our city, I must help". "Fine then... WHOA!" a clump on the saddle, she sat there looking up at him with awe. "Warn me next time... So where are we heading young girl?". "North 5 km then west, and please, call me Lucy". As they cluttered down the road of dusty pebbles through a crowd of people looking up in awe.


The land was beautiful, but harsh. The town was safe from the elements, but outside could be dangerous if one did not take precautions.
Birds fluttered their wings chasing the colorful butterflies along the emerald green grass of hills. The sun radiating down upon the dew of the morning, glistening through the eyes of the people of Garemont. A wall, huge and protective, stands between the citizens of Garemont and the outside world. Earth, air, fire and water my strike with their determined hands eating the souls of the unfortunate. A passage can be the only hope, leading through the flora of the mountains towards the trickling stream running after each other over the rocks. A relaxation place for a refreshing wetness as you jump into its sheet of aqua blue water.

Using your senses to write

"When you write a short story you should be trying to suck the reader into your world. Your story should be so detailed and interesting that they get lost in your story and forget about everything else that is going on in the world around them.

The most important part of creating a fantastic world for your readers is to allow them to imagine what is going on by describing what is going on rather than just telling them.

In the following activity you will be given a situation to describe. You will also be given one of the five senses to use as the basis of your description. You must re-write the situation/part of the story to make it come alive for your readers. You should aim to be as descriptive as possible.

HINT: Imagine you are in the following situations and must describe it over the phone to somebody on the other side of the world. You cannot show them what is happening but you can describe it in enough detail that they will be able to feel, see, smell, taste or hear what is going on."

Situation to re-write: It was a hot summer’s day.                             Sense: Sight

The fan turns slow useless circles above me as I watch the sweat trickle from places I didn’t even know sweat could. Outside it looks like the world is melting. The sun is playing tricks on my eyes as it creates puddles all across the road. It looks like the pavement is melting away in protest of the heat. The flowers too are protesting as the weep under the spiteful eyes of the sun.

Situation to re-write: It was time for breakfast.                                 Sense: Smell/Taste

I wake up to the delicious smell of sweet and sour candy as it drifted into my room. The intoxicating smell opened my eyes wide awake, hypnotizing me to walk a little closer.  I sat down and breathed in the enchanting smell of eggs, bacon and cinnamon toast as I took a bite. My tastebuds danced exotically upon my tongue as my hunger heals from my restless sleep.

Situation to re-write: It was a dark and stormy night                       Sense: Hear

The cliffs collided into each other with a growling thud. The clouds were screaming in protest, killing our ear buds with a high pitched shriek. The house is creaking, trying to endure the sudden echoing gunshots. 

Situation to re-write: She cuddled up to her teddy bear                                Sense: Touch/Feel

Cold air bit to her body as she freezes in the hasty icy climate. The only warmth is beside her, calling her to come closer. As she grabs her teddy bear, she feels as though a jolt of fire burned through her hand. The teddy bear clings onto her has she cuddles the bear. An explosion of warmth blasted onto her body as she went sound to sleep.